John Anderson, tell us, what was it like growing up in Sydney in the 1960s?

I actually grew up on a farm about 300 miles northwest of Sydney, where my family had lived since the 1830s. We were, I suppose, comfortably off, but it was also very isolated, so I didn’t go into the classroom until I was nine. I was taught with my sister at home around the kitchen table using a correspondence school.

How did you become a Christian?

I became a believer while away at boarding school, after a family tragedy caused me to start to ask very deep questions about the nature of suffering. It was a particularly nasty tragedy, and I was at the epicenter of it- the death of my sister in a sporting accident. And so I really was asking the big questions, like whether pain would end, to be supplanted by joy, and whether the wounds would be bound up. I did not come from a Christian home.

Did you always want to get into politics?

No. I was about eight when Churchill died, and for some unknown reason, my interest in people who lead peaked. Obscure, I know, but for some reason, that’s my earliest consciousness of leadership and the need for it.

At what point in your political career would you say your faith was most tested?

1998. The government I was part of was in crisis. We looked like we were going to lose the election. My constituency bodies were in open revolt, and my wife and I had a surprise additional child that we weren’t expecting but he was born with massive difficulties. He was hospitalised for the first six months of his life. Annus horribilis, or whatever the saying is—that was the year. That was the shocker.

How did God get you through that?

I remember one weekend reaching that point of total and absolute despair on a Sunday afternoon and feeling I could not go on. And it literally was a question of throwing myself on the ground and pleading, and somehow feeling a sense of “yes—you can do this,” of relief, that the desert experience would come to an end. And it did! Sadly, my son died, but it was one of those ones where he’d known such pain and had so many operations on his little six-month-old baby body that it was, in the old-fashioned terminology, a “blessed relief.” Then I had to pull myself together and fight by far the toughest election of the seven that I fought, and against all odds, we won. But I can tell you, by the end of that year, I was exhausted!

The other very tough year was the year of 9/11. I was Acting Prime Minister when that happened. That was the one that was the most chilling, I suppose, because in the midst of it, our Prime Minister was in the U.S. We just didn’t know where it was going to land and what the global implications for both security and the economy would be.

Which of the following characters best reflects your political career: Moses, Nehemiah, or Daniel?

I would not put myself in the company of giants like that under any circumstances.

Yesterday [reffering to last years ARC Conference), you used the metaphor of filling up a car with the wrong fuel. Can you break this parable down for us?

Our civilization has spluttered to a halt because the dynamic—the fuel that made the great engines of freedom work (Judeo-Christian values)—has essentially run out, and we’ve tried to find substitute fuels, the wrong fuels, like secular humanism and the worship of self. These have resulted in the atomisation of society, an inability to find common good, and a determination to defend our patch as though only we know what is right. This scornful approach is tearing our culture apart, and our economy is going down with it.

Yesterday, you said politics is tough. What do you mean by that?

It’s a grind. For me, I had an electorate the size of England. So it alone involved immense amounts of time away from home and traveling. And then there’s Canberra for 22 weeks of the year. If you’re going to be a person who stands up for anything, the tensions and the difficulties involved are immense—trying to take people with you who disagree, trying not to compromise your principles, trying not to offend unnecessarily at the same time. It’s a tough gig!

Do you think the younger generation is up to the task?

There’s no use sitting around complaining. We need to ask, What can I reasonably do? We’re disengaged and we’re cynical. It’s like a broken-down horse trying to pull a big cart up the hill, and somehow we think we’ll get better out of it by lashing it mercilessly rather than by sympathising with a poor animal doing its best. One will produce results. The other will not. When you’re actually seriously attempting to have a go yourself, perhaps you’re in a better position to criticize, but not enough people are manning their stations.

You spoke of the hope you have in future young talent. Have you noticed this in the UK at all?

Yes, I have, yes. It’s not just anecdotal. The emerging leaders that we’re going to need—they’re there. They need encouragement. Sometimes they’ll need a kick up the backside, but they are there. I often think about the Oxford Pledge in 1933 that ricocheted around the world when the Oxford Union, by definition young people, overwhelmingly said they would not fight and die for King and Country under any circumstances.

A few short years later, they were manning the Spitfires and the Hurricanes over London. They were bringing the convoys in across the Atlantic. They were manning the munitions factories, and they were fighting in the African desert. Effective leadership, coupled with people’s instinctive desire to do the right thing when they really see the choice they’re stuck with, brought out the best.

Let’s hope we don’t have to stand on the precipice of another global war to bring out the best. But we need it now because our cultures and our economies are in a mess.

CO: So you were the former Conservative Councillor for Mottingham. How long have you been in that role for?

WR: So I was councillor for Mottingham for eight years in total, four years as Mottingham and Chislehurst North, four years as Mottingham.

CO: How did it feel to get voted out at this last election?

WR: Some people may say voted out. I’d like to think of it as the dice didn’t roll in my favour this time. The ward is always very, very close. The first time I got in, I won by 20. Second time by 44. This time, they lost by 38. So that just shows just how close it always is in Mottingham, and that every vote counts.

CO: Were you hoping to out manoeuvre Louise Sage of Reform?

WR: Well, you never really think along the lines of outmanoeuvring. At the end of the day, it’s democracy, and democracy is a wonderful thing when it works in your favour, and when it doesn’t work in your favour, it’s still a wonderful thing, but you are slightly frustrated by it.

The thing that you’ve got to bear in mind is that all the polls were suggesting that Bromley would go into no overall control. They were also suggesting that Bexley would go into Reform control. The Conservative Party were able to hold both Bexley and Bromley. And I think the fact that we got one councillor in Mottingham was a fantastic achievement. Giles is doing a wonderful job already. He will continue to do a wonderful job, and at the end of the day, it is what it is. People are quite within their rights to vote for who they think will do the best job. A lot of people also vote on national issues over local issues, which can be a little bit frustrating, but again, that is democracy.

CO: It was interesting to see that Reform literature went 100% on national issues. I don’t think they mentioned anything local. Alternatively, Labour went very, very local, which may have also been to their detriment. How does one decide what to focus on?

WR: The thing is that this is the first local election where we’ve had five-party politics. So it was a learning curve for every single party. And I think you saw the two newer players in the game, the Greens and Reform, they were playing on national issues. And then equally, you’ve got the three more established parties where you could play both local and national. Reform has now got councils like Kent. The Greens have got councils like Lewisham now, so next time they’ll have a bit more of a track record. I think that ultimately people vote based on what they see as the greatest priority. Some people see local issues as a bigger priority, and some people see national issues as a bigger priority.

CO: Interesting. Now, why are you Conservative?

WR: I’m Conservative because I believe in free market capitalist economics, low taxes, but equally I also believe in the welfare state.

CO: And who’s your favourite Conservative Prime Minister?

WR: I would have to say it’s probably Winston Churchill. Without Churchill, we would all be speaking German right now. Of the modern era, I think that Mrs Thatcher and John Major were both absolute beacons of the Conservative Party, and they allowed for the continuation of the Conservative Party in a more modern way.

CO: Now, you’ve now got more time on your hands. How will you use it?

WR: So, I’ve got my own business doing garden maintenance and landscaping. I basically start work about seven o’clock, doing the gardening. When I was on the council, you would then use your tea breaks and things like that to catch up on emails, speak to the officers, so on and so forth. And then that would continue into the evening. Now I’m renovating the house and having great fun doing it!

CO: And are you married? Do you have kids?

WR: Yeah, I’m married. No kids yet though.

CO: Were you educated locally?

WR: No, I’m originally from Derbyshire, a little town called Glossop. I went to the local bog-standard comp that was called Glossopdale. And I came down here when I was 18 and started up my own business and never looked back.

CO: Good on you. And what’s your hope for Mottingham and the surrounding areas?

WR: Well, my hope for Mottingham is that they get strong representation. I’m very proud of the record that myself and David Cartwright had. We left behind a crime rate which is lower than it was eight years ago. We’ve left behind a programme of investment into the local area. The library has been refurbished. The Mottingham Estate is getting a new youth centre. We’ve helped to get Friends of Foxes Field off the ground. We’ve helped them attract funding. I would like to see that continue, and I know that Giles will continue that. And in terms of Bromley as a whole. Don’t think I won’t be coming back!

CO: Will Rowlands will be back with avengeance (and his lawnmower)!?

WR: Absolutely. I would like to see Bromley continue to prosper. The position that the council’s finances are in, through no fault of the administration, both current and past, is well documented and tricky. It’s going to be very, very difficult. This said I have every confidence in our leader that he’s the right guy to steer the council through the choppy waters that may be heading our way. Bromley will ultimately, in the long term, prosper. And that’s what I want to see.

CO: Thank you so much for your time.

WR: No, it’s alright. You take care and I’ll speak to you soon.

CO: God bless!

Tomorrow (31st May 2026) a resident from Chislehurst will begin a 23,000km cycling trip around Europe to raise money for the World Cancer Research Fund. Graphic designer and web developer Agis Apostolopoulos, aged 54, has decided to sell his belongings, cancel his rent and do what most of us only dream of - follow the wind (and his sat nav). I caught up with Agis a few days before he embarked to find out what he’s planning, why and how we can support.

CO: It’s so good to interview you on this, the dawning of your trip. It feels like yesterday that we met at the back of Costa. So tell us, what are you going to be doing over the coming months?

Agis: So what I’m about to do, is on Sunday, the 31st of May, I’m gonna... leave London on a 23,000-kilometre cycling expedition.

CO: How many countries are you hoping to visit?

Agis: 41 countries.

CO: Wow. How long is it gonna take you?

Agis: I expect it to take me around 20 months, 20 months or 20 years.

CO: Okay, so what inspired you to pack up a job in graphic design and web development to start cycling around the world?

Agis: So that goes back to 2021 when I lost my Mum to cancer. I’m using this journey to raise cancer awareness around Europe, and fundraise in aid of the World Cancer Research Fund, particularly around how changing our diets can reduce cancer.

CO: Very good. What country are you looking forward to? What countries aren’t you so keen on?

Agis: I’m really looking forward to visiting Sweden and Scandinavia. I have friends there waiting for me and I’ve never been there before. It’s quite exciting. Of course, I’m also looking forward to visiting my home country, Greece.

CO: So your plan is to go clockwise around Europe, covering northern Europe before winter, and then coming down south into warmer climates as the chill sets in?

Agis: Hopefully I’ll get to some warmer climates eventually, but it’s going to take a while. Because my trip will take around 2 years, covering on average 50km a day, it’s not 100% certain that I will escape winter in the Nordic and Eastern Europe. I will have to camp at some point in a cold climate, which is part of the adventure.

CO: What! Just to clarify, so you’re planning to camp all the way?

Agis: Yeah. Yeah.

CO: You also mentioned you are planning to cook meals for people?

Agis: That’s the hope. One of the huge bits of research the World Cancer Research Fund is doing is how food affects and protects from cancer. So they have a huge database of research on food, recipes, and I’m going to be using this to cook with people and talk about the importance of a healthy diet. Obviously, cycling is a very physical activity, so the more meals I eat the better.

CO: Now, have you done any training?

Agis: Well, I have been cycling a lot, and I’ve joined a local club. But no, I haven’t ever done cycle touring before. I’m just gonna take it slowly and avoid dangerous situations.

EH: And I notice you’re going to Moldova. You don’t fancy going further east into Ukraine?

Agis: I’d love to. I’ve been talking with some friends in Poland, but I cannot be 100% sure about this right now. I think I’ll see how it goes when I’m in the location and I’ll take it from there.

EH: Hopefully, by the time you get there, there’ll be peace. Hey, maybe you can bring it with you on your bike.

Agis: That would be wonderful.

EH: How can people keep up to date with what you’re up to? How could people support you?

Agis: So, I have this web page, AgisRidesTheWorld.com, where people can track my route and location, and find links to my social media, follow and connect with me. If anyone fancies it, you can track me down and ride alongside me for a day or two along the way.

CH: Truly inspirational! On behalf of everyone in Chislehurst and the surrounding areas, Godspeed.

Agis: Thank you very much.

A good while ago I was having my first flat white, extra hot, in Caffè Nero in Chislehurst, just up the road from Sainsbury’s – you can’t miss it – and I really took to the place.

Its coffee, its toasties and its apricot croissants. But most of all, I soon realised, its music. The loop. Cool jazzy stuff. Beautiful piano pieces. Classical. Songs with a difference.

Just wonderful, but who was the brains behind it? All they could tell me was that it came from the head office in Covent Garden.

So, I investigated and found it was someone called Paul Ettinger, better known by some as ‘Pablo.’ His Caffè Nero ‘journey’ has been extraordinary, and…well, let Paul tell you himself:

‘My path to helping build Caffè Nero was anything but conventional. After studying Physics at Southampton University, I took on a series of unexpected challenges – from working as a ski instructor to mine clearing in Libya.

‘An MBA at INSEAD in France led me into the chemical industry, where I spent 13 years eventually helping to run a German chemical business. Nothing in that trajectory suggested I’d end up in the hospitality world, let alone championing unsigned musicians across the globe.’

In 1997, Paul’s friend from INSEAD bought five coffee bars in London and asked him to join as a non-executive director. ‘When he heard I was returning to the UK the following year, he asked me to help turn the business around, running all the food, beverage and commercial operations.

‘As a food lover and keen amateur chef, I agreed to help for what I thought would be 12 weeks. I fell in love with the challenge and the hospitality industry so completely that I’m still here today, more than 25 years later.

‘Music was always part of Caffè Nero, even when we only had those five coffee bars. As the only musician on the board, I naturally took responsibility for it. Early in our history, we decided to feature live music in our Soho location during the Soho Jazz Festival.

‘That’s when I met Tony Moore, a brilliant musician and promoter who ran The Kashmir Club. He invited me along, and I started going every week, meeting singer-songwriters who would share their CDs with me. I began playing their music in Caffè Nero.

‘Then something magical happened. A young musician asked if he could do a “Caffè Nero Tour” and ended up playing live in 30 of our stores. That was Jack Savoretti, who has since become a global superstar.

‘From that moment, unsigned musicians started sending me their music and asking to perform. The programme grew organically – we built a Caffè Nero at a major music festival with our own stage, and everything accelerated from there.

‘What started as an instinct to create the right atmosphere in our coffee bars evolved into a genuine commitment to supporting emerging talent. We realized that Caffè Nero had something unique to offer musicians – not just a stage, but a daily presence in the lives of millions of customers worldwide.

‘Every song we play reaches people during their morning coffee, their afternoon break, their evening wind-down. For an unsigned artist, that kind of exposure is invaluable.

‘Today, I curate our playlist alongside Rob Clark from Imagesound, who has access to a library of four million songs. We can distribute our carefully crafted playlist to all 1,200 Caffè Neros worldwide. There’s a core playlist, with about 20% of songs unique to each country, allowing us to celebrate local music and musicians.

‘We update monthly, adding 20-30 songs each time. The playlist flows from classical music in the morning to jazz at lunchtime, then Americana, country, pop, and soul in the afternoon and evening. Every choice is deliberate, designed to enhance the customer experience while giving talented artists a platform they might not otherwise have.

‘The scale of what we’ve built still amazes me. Over the years, I estimate we’ve supported around 400 unsigned artists. The royalties Caffè Nero pays – now a very substantial sum – go directly to musicians through PRS and PPL, the collection agencies.

‘This isn’t symbolic support; it’s real income for working musicians trying to build sustainable careers. For many artists, being featured on our playlist represents their first meaningful streaming revenue, their first proof that their music can reach beyond their immediate circle of fans and supporters.

‘Our commitment extends far beyond the playlist. We run one major festival annually, several showcases throughout the year, and now sponsor and help run the New Talent Music Competition, which recently concluded with a fantastic final concert in York where the winner was chosen.

‘Next year, we’re supporting Country Calling Festival in August, where we’ll build a large Caffè Nero and stage, hosting around 130 musicians over three days. These aren’t small undertakings – they’re significant investments in live music and emerging talent.

‘Watching artists grow through our programme has been one of the most rewarding aspects of my career. Some musicians who played in a single Caffè Nero location years ago now headline festivals. Others have built loyal followings through the exposure our playlist provided.

‘Jack Savoretti’s trajectory from that first “Caffè Nero Tour” to international success isn’t unique – it’s become a template that dozens of artists have followed. We’ve created pathways, opened doors, and most importantly, paid musicians fairly for their work.

‘My commitment to supporting musicians extends beyond Caffè Nero. I’m a jazz keyboard player and perform with my own band, Ivory Pablo & the Blue Notes. We recently played a major gig at The Crypt in Covent Garden alongside well-known country singer Savannah Gardner, who joined us for some jazz numbers.

‘Being a working musician myself gives me insight into the challenges unsigned artists face – the struggle for venues, for audiences, for fair compensation. It keeps me grounded in the reality of what we’re trying to achieve at Caffè Nero.’

Eight years ago, Paul co-founded TALENTBANQ, a live music agency where he serves as Chairman. ‘It was created to discover, nurture and promote outstanding unsigned artists – essentially extending the work I do at Caffè Nero and taking it to another level.

‘TALENTBANQ now puts on 20-30 gigs per week across London and has a roster of over 100 artists. It’s everything I hoped it would become – a thriving ecosystem where talented musicians can develop their craft, build their audiences, and make their living through music.

‘The connection between my work at Caffè Nero and TALENTBANQ is natural and symbiotic. Artists who perform at TALENTBANQ venues often end up on our Caffè Nero playlist. Musicians we discover through submissions to Caffè Nero find performance opportunities through TALENTBANQ.

‘We’ve created a comprehensive support system – recording opportunities, live performance venues, radio play through our stores, festival stages, and competition platforms. For an unsigned artist trying to break through, these resources can make the difference between giving up and persevering.

‘Looking back on my journey from physics to chemicals to coffee bars to music promotion, I see a thread running through it all – a love of challenge, of building something meaningful, of creating opportunities.

‘That 12-week commitment in 1998 turned into a quarter-century passion project. What started as simply choosing good music for our coffee bars has become something far more meaningful – a platform that genuinely helps emerging artists build their careers, reach new audiences, and earn from their craft.

‘Every time I hear a musician we supported on the radio, or see them headlining a festival, or simply making a living from their art, I’m reminded why I stayed in this industry. The hospitality business gave me an unexpected gift – the chance to champion talent, support dreams, and prove that commerce and creativity can not only coexist but enhance each other.’

Hear, hear – in more ways than one!

Peter is a semi-retired journalist who edited the South East London Mercury in Deptford. He was involved in the Mercury’s seven-year campaign with fans to get Charlton Athletic FC back to The Valley in 1992. This article has been republished with permission. The original was published 29th December 2025 and can be found at

https://dsmag.in/2025/12/29/peter-cordwells-essay-neros-music-maestro/

On Wednesday morning, two Transport for London (TfL) workers were seen replacing Ultra Low Emission Zone (ULEZ) cameras in Chislehurst.

The camera, positioned at the junction of Willow Grove and Chislehurst High Street, was replaced between 9 and 10am on 20 May. Two security guards were stationed at the bottom of the ladder in order to protect the technician as he carried out the work.

When questioned, the team stated that the replacement was in response to an “accidental” traffic incident and was not the result of Bladerunner activity.

The technician later confessed that he had replaced “hundreds of cameras” in 2024 due to criminal vandalism. When asked whether the Bladerunners were still operating, he stated: “It had been a while.”

One security guard described the relationship between themselves and the Bladerunners as “a game of cowboys and Indians”. When asked whether TfL was winning, a technician - simultaneously fiddling with an electrical box - stated: “It would appear so. Whoever has more money will ultimately win.”

On 15 January 2024, an estimated 20 lights were felled between Mottingham and Chislehurst. Local councillors from Chislehurst Matters condemned the civil disobedience. They posted on X:

All 4 lights have been taken down at Chislehurst War Memorial, A222.

We absolutely condemn this criminal damage that endangers the lives of the hundreds of schoolchildren & others plus motorists who cross here each day.

In a survey conducted by the Chislehurst Observer, of 41 local residents at the time, we found that the majority (60%) supported the Bladerunners, with 63% believing that the criminal activity had actually improved traffic flow at the affected lights.

Subsequent FOI requests were unable to discover whether these acts of vandalism had increased traffic incidences at the junction. They did show low numbers of incidences at the junction near Elmstead Lane and William Barefoot between 2021-2023. Traffic incidents at the junction in Orpington had also been decreasing significantly in the years leading up to 2024.*

When questioned about exactly how many cameras were cut down on 15 January 2024, and how much it cost to replace them, TfL refused to comment.

The replaced camera in Chislehurst sits two miles from the edge of the ULEZ zone and is part of a complex network of cameras placed around South East London, some even on dead-end roads. One source I spoke to some time ago stated:

“ULEZ is being used as a cover to bring in pay-by-mile. It’s all part of Project 2030. You can read about it online.”

The camera is now back in full working order, meaning it will return to its previous role of charging ULEZ non complient cars, motorcycles, vans, and specialist vehicles £12.50 per day to drive within of our area.

Maybe they’ve won after all.

*Article corrected and updated @22.16 on 21st May when analysis of FOI data was found to be inaccurate.

If you enjoyed this article, we’d love to know why? Comment below and spread the word.

How do you plan to use your role as Councillor over the next 4 years?

In short, the same way we’ve used the roles in the previous four years!

We believe local politics is about local issues – what happens in your road, High Street, and community – not the mind-numbing soap opera of national politics.

We’ve made it clear that we’re a local party working for Chislehurst and its residents, and we intend to continue to work and campaign on that basis for the next four years.

We see our big win as a strong endorsement from Chislehurst residents, who appreciate what we do and are happy for us to continue.

What are your priorities?

We want the second crossing at the War Memorial junction. It’s in the pipeline but is taking far longer than we’d like so we’ll continue to press for that.

Our other priorities are the issues we spoke about on the doorstep to residents during the campaign – road safety, protecting the Green Belt, supporting local businesses, working with our safer neighbourhood police team so they are aware of residents’ concerns, and the many other issues where people’s lives are affected by decisions made by Bromley Council.

What hard decisions will you need to make?

Like all authorities, Bromley faces severe financial challenges, so we anticipate having to make some very difficult decisions regarding council services. At this stage, we have no idea what these will be, but at all times, we’ll try to act and vote in the best interests of the people we represent.

What do you think of reform wins in Mottingham, Biggin Hill and St Paul’s Cray?

We’re an independent party unaffiliated to any of the national parties, so we won’t comment on Reform’s tactics, policies or how they have fared in other parts of the borough. We look forward to working with the Reform councillors over the next four years.

David Skinner, aged 81, who was issued a large fine and given a criminal record for sending an email containing images of aborted babies to the police, has had his conviction quashed at Bournemouth Crown Court.

Following a two…

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So, Bishop, a video of you rec…

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Despite the myriad woes of ULEZ expansion, there is one aspect of Sadiq Khan's commitments for which I am grateful - the Super Loop.

Almost exactly a year to the day since its announcement, the new fast-paced bus routes connecting outer London rail routes in a single clock face (which indeed resembles both a clock and a face, albeit abstract) are up and running. The full impact of this was gloriously brought home to me when I actually witnessed one in Bromley.

The route has rebranded existing express routes while also introducing new ones.

For an excellent and detailed summary, do check out Geoff Marshall's video.The route boasts travel times of 23 minutes between Bromley and Croydon, all at the standard bus fare of £1.75. This includes the hopper rate and the £5.25 cap for repeated journeys.

With train fares rising by 4.9% in March and not serving orbital routes anyway, this loop is worthy of its name - super.*

*Now, for those who loathe buses or have been forced to sell their cars due to diesel scapegoating or unfair ULEZ expansions, all of this may offer little comfort. However, for the poor, the carless, and the suburban disconnected, it is surely a welcomed introduction.

Following the felling of multiple traffic lights in the locality, we decided to conduct an anonymous survey* to gauge public opinion.

*NB. This is an informal survey that is not representative of the whole locality.

Summary:

• 41 local residents replied.

• 88% opposed the ULEZ expansion in general, with 10% offering some support.

• 60% supported blade runners, with 22% opposing.

• The main objections to the blade runners antics were that it was 'dangerous' (58%), 'it doesn’t send the right message', it caused 'disruption', and it was criminal.

• The main approvals to the blade runners antics were 'ULEZ expansion is the real crime', 'direct action is the only way forward', and 'it communicates a strong message'.

• 63% thought the flow of traffic actually improved as a result of the felled lights.

We are still awaiting replies to FOI requests sent to investigate the extent and cost of the disruption caused. We will report on them in due course. Subscribe at bottom to keep up to date.

Full Results

Demographic Notes

About The Chislehurst Observer. An anonymous local reporter, exploring local issues with insight and wit. To join our free (currently email) subscribe below. If you have a story to share contact chislehurstobserver@gmail.com.

How exactly did they do it? Where did the rubble go? And considering the number of Thames water issues we have on the road, how long will this new surface remain new?

The Chislehurst Observer Investigates…

How to resurface a road?

Of all the machines parked on Elmstead Lane this week, there are five that I need to draw your attention to.

1. The Planer:

This monster machine (sorry didn’t snap an image) is designed to scoop up the old road. It does so in 2-meter sections using a combination of water, a serrated metal roller, and raw power. It moves on four rubberised tracks at a frighteningly high speed of 5 mph. Above it, a conveyor belt, some 4 meters long, arches like a long dragon neck, spewing forth the asphalt, also known as ‘planing,’ into a truck ready to receive it. According to the National Planing Association, “planings are collected then reused in new asphalt or in surface applications such as pathways and farm tracks.” One worker told me, “we’ll lift 200 tonnes of asphalt off the road over the coming days and plan to fill around 12 trucks.”

2. The Sweeper:

Next, an industrial sweeper cleans the road of rubble and other debris left in the planer's wake.

3. The Bitumen Van:

After the road is cleaned and swept, a smaller vehicle pours heated bitumen (pronounced "bitch-you-men") onto it, which acts as a glue for the asphalt layer. Bitumen is found both naturally (the largest known deposit being a lake in Trinidad) and can also be derived from crude oil. Confusingly, Americans refer to bitumen as asphalt. Presumably, this is because it is one of the main ingredients in the mixture of sand, stones, and bitumen that makes up asphalt. However, just like an egg is not a cake, I think it best to be accurate.

Whatever you do, don’t confuse any of this with tarmac. Short for Tarmacadam, tarmac is a combination of similar substances, but tar is used instead of bitumen. Effectively, it’s the first cousin once removed of bitumen but is less popular in road surfacing nowadays.

4. The Paver:

The second of the two large machine monsters you may have seen was the paver. This machine pours and presses heated asphalt onto the road. Workers are on hand to spread it out, ready for the final stage. This is hot work. Even walking past at this stage warmed our faces. To say their sweat literally went into our road is no exaggeration.

5. The Roller:

Finally, a double drum roller, also aptly named the “compactor,” flattens the road. You don’t want to get your foot stuck under one of these 3.5-tonne drums. Once compressed and cooled, the road is painted. I say paint, but really it’s melted thermoplastic that is skillfully poured onto the road. Drying quickly and sticking solid to the road, the only way to get it off is with a blowtorch.

The end result: A beautiful new black road…

But how long will it last?

Anyone living near the road would have noticed the near-comical regularity of water works on the road last year due to burst pipes.

Local MP Bob Neill put this down to the high percentage of iron pipes and variations in water temperature. Assuming these pipes still exist and the water temperature will change with the temperature, then I give it 3 months before our road is turned back into a patchwork of puddles and off-coloured asphalt patches.

I could be cynical, but as they say, “all roads must come to an end” sooner or later.

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